Dancing with Spike
by Angel Jade1
Summary: Sequel to Dancing alone. The night after, the unexpected happens.


Title: Dancing with Spike  
Author: Angel Jade  
Rating: PG-13  
Content: Language, implied sex.  
Spoilers: Season six to about Wrecked.  
Pairings: Willow/Spike  
Description: The night after. The unexpected happens.  
Setting: After 'Dancing alone.'  
Feedback: angel-jade@buffyrocks.co.uk  
Distribution: Ask first please.  
Disclaimer: Do not own characters or show and make no money from writing about them.  
Dedication: Red, you wanted happy...hope this is okay, 'cause I don't usually do happy.  
Author's notes: No, I will not describe the sex scenes, because I'm lazy and I hate doing them.  
  
  
*****  
Spike POV  
*****  
  
I feel the bed shake and open my eyes to see Willow sitting up abruptly, looking around as if she has no clue where she is.  
  
"Oh God." She mutters.  
  
Not the kinda thing a guy wants to hear after a night of unbelievably good sex.  
  
"Mornin' Pet." I say, a cheerful look on my face. Just so she knows I don't regret it.  
  
But she obviously does.  
  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." She jumps out of bed and grabs her clothes, doing her best to cover what she was only too happy to show last night.  
  
"Take it you're not stayin' then?" I ask, rather disappointed. Feels nice havin' a bird in bed with ya. Except Harmony. She snores.  
  
"Spike...how could you let me do this?" She asks.  
  
I scoff. "You asked me...remember?"  
  
"And you let me!" She yells back angrily.  
  
"What's the big deal? We shag, you leave...no one ever knows." I tell her.  
  
She sighs. "I was very emotional last night."  
  
"Kinda realised that, Pet." I grin.  
  
"If you ever tell anyone, I'll turn you into..." She breaks off, a terrified look in her eyes.  
  
"Turn me into a what?" I ask, quite interested. "Oh...you're not supposed to be doing that anymore, are ya Red?"  
  
"Shut up Spike." She warns, putting her shoes on.  
  
"No more threatening Spike with the big bad powers." I say. I'm aware I'm teasing her...even upsetting her and believe me, this is the last thing I wanna do. But she's walking out like this was one big mistake. Man's gotta keep his pride.  
  
"Buffy's going to be worried sick...or maybe not worried...she'll think I was out doing...oh God, I have to go." She goes to leave, but I bound of out bed and I'm blocking the door to my crypt before she can open the door and disappear into the sunlight. "Spike, let me go." She says.  
  
I know I'm smiling arrogantly and probably scaring her, so I do my best to look hurt and back away. "Yeah, you don't worry about me. 'S not like I mind being used by every bint in Sunnydale."  
  
She winces at my words, before walking out, leaving me alone. I kick over the table in frustration. Bitch.  
  
*****  
  
I know this is bad. That I'm sinking to a new low, but it doesn't stop me. I'm turning stalker now. But not on Buffy...love of my life...blonde bitch from hell...  
  
Nope, Spike's got a new obsession. Fiery redhead who broke his heart this morning.  
  
Okay, it's not like I love the girl. Maybe I've just got a thing for girls who ain't interested in me.  
  
I see her in the living room of Buffy's house and wait behind the tree. She looks miserable again. I smile. Best time to chat a girl up, I reckon. Dawn walks in the living room and I see Willow try and talk to her. Dawn throws her a look so vile, I have to wonder if the lil' bit isn't just a tad evil. Willow's eyes drop as she realises Dawn isn't going to be forgiving her any time soon. She gets up and walks out, through the front door, closing it softly behind her. I see tears start to fall from her eyes as she sits on the step outside the house and buries her face in her hands.  
  
I sit next to her, not making a sound and put my arm around her. She jumps and looks up; tearful eyes that make her look so venerable. For a moment, I think she's going to pull away...but she drops her head and pulls me closer, crying into my chest.  
  
After a few minutes, she sniffs back tears and pulls away.  
  
"Spike...will you...I..." She's asking me for sex again. I shake my head. Learnt my lesson last time.  
  
She looks as if she's going to cry again.  
  
"Listen Pet, you know you'll just feel bad in the morning. Lets stop using Spike and go out and forget all this, alright?" I ask her.  
  
She nods, a little disappointed (who wouldn't be?) but she's happy just to have company right now.  
  
*****  
  
I take for a drink, watching amusedly and she drinks too much.  
  
I talk all night...she just listens, a small smile on her face. I tell her stories about my past. She's particularly interested in what I was like as a human. I tell her all about my first love and she looks sympathetic.  
  
By the end of the night, she can barely walk straight. I walk her home; glad no one's around to see me do it. Why I feel the need to look after the bint I don't know.  
  
As we pass the cemetery, I glance in, thoughts of dragging her in there and having a repeat performance of last night in my crypt. A small smile crosses my face. It really has been too long since I had a decent fuck.  
  
Tempted as I am, I don't need slayer wrath right now. So, instead, I walk her home. Who knows, maybe she'll fuck me again sometime because of it.  
  
The, all of a sudden, I'm pressed against the cemetery wall. Willow places her hands on my chest and reaches up to kiss me. I know exactly how this is going to end up, but somehow I can bring myself to care, so I grab her thighs and lift her up so her legs wrap around my waist. I make my way to the crypt, her lips not leaving mine.  
  
And people think this girl is all innocent. Give her a few drinks and see how innocent she really is.  
  
I push the door open and walk inside. I let her down so that we can undress. Everything's so frantically fast; we're trying to get into bed. She must be as desperate as me.  
  
We collapse on the bed and before I can take control, Red's on me, pushing *me* into the bed. I'm telling ya, this girl's got a side her friends don't get to see.  
  
Think I like it.  
  
*****  
  
I wake before her and appreciate the calm before the storm. She's kinda cute when she sleeps. Eyes darting about, little pout on her lips. I find myself reaching over and brushing her hair aside.  
  
I jolt back. What the hell am I doing? Fucking Red...yeah, that's fine. Great even. But now I'm getting all mushy. I'm acting like fucking Angel.  
  
Yeah, now it's me freaking out. And do you blame me? One minute Buffy's taken over my head and won't leave me alone, now I'm getting all poncy about a girl. A human girl to be precise. Fucking chip...that's what it is. Stupid sodding soldiers and their fucking experiments.  
  
As she opens he eyes, I force myself to calm down and wait for it.  
  
She smiles, and stretches. "Hey."  
  
I cock my head to the side. "Not doing the ritual, 'Oh God, oh God!' today then?" I ask.  
  
She sighs and lies on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "I've had a little time to think."  
  
"And?" I ask.  
  
"So I'm screwing an evil vampire who's just using me because he can't get any off Buffy." She says casually. "I've done worse things."  
  
"Cheers very much." I mutter, kinda shocked how she's acting. Been underestimating this one.  
  
"And you're not so bad...for an evil..."  
  
"Vampire, yeah we did that part, Red." I say impatiently. I'm pissed about the way she's acting. Bitch is using me. Sure, I was using her...was? Is. I am using her. But she's not supposed to use me. "If you're gonna bugger off, you might as well do it now." I say shortly.  
  
She frowns. "What's wrong? You're being all...scorned lover on me." She gasped as if she'd hit the nail on the head. "You feel like a scorned lover!"  
  
"I do not!" I reply. "Evil demon, remember?"  
  
"But Drusilla and Buffy..."  
  
"That's them. Like I'd ever fall for someone like you." I say, before I even realise its come out my mouth. Bollocks. Her face softens a little before hardening. She's out the door before I can stutter my apology.  
  
*****  
  
Now I feel fucking guilty. I...me...I feel bad. Me. Stupid bint, think she's so special 'cause I fucked her. She's not my type. I'm mean, sure she's hot. And she's got the fiery temper working for her. And the innocent little girl thing. But she's just not...  
  
I'd shag her any day. But what does she want from me? To say I want to be with her? That's fucking stupid. I'm in love with Buffy...who I have not thought about since my first night with Willow. That's not right. Damn it, I'm so confused. I walk alone down the street towards Buffy's house. Why I'm drawn there is obvious. Not to watch Buffy undressing in front of the window...I need to see Willow. She's mad as hell right now and if I ever want another shag, I'm gonna have to say I'm sorry.  
  
You know, now I've had 'em both...slayer and witch...it's kinda weird to be here. Comparin' 'em is hard 'cause they were both so different. Buffy was all rough and desperate. Gotta admit, that was fun. Red was all clingy and slow. She teased and touched. That was pretty damn good too.  
  
Wonder how they'd feel about a little one-on-one-on-one action.  
  
I stand behind the tree and try to look into the living room, but it looks empty. I try a bit harder to look in without coming out from the shadows.  
  
"You're pathetic." I hear Buffy's voice behind me.  
  
I turn round sheepishly and grin. "Slayer. How you doin' these days? Shag any dangerous vampires lately?"  
  
"Not since Angel." She replies before walking past me. "So you going stalker on me now?"  
  
"Oh what? You kiddin' me right?" I ask. "I'm here to see Red."  
  
"Sure." She says sarcastically, opening her door.  
  
"I Am! You bloody well tell Red to get her arse down here right now or I'll..." I stop as Willow appears at the door.  
  
"It's okay Buffy." She whispers as she walks out, leaving Buffy to gawp after us. I smirk as Willow walks along side me. We walk away from the house...away from the nosey glares of Buffy and Dawn.  
  
"So, thought you wouldn't talk to me." I say, trying to act as if I don't give a rat's ass.  
  
"Why? You were just telling the truth." She says, flatly.  
  
"Red, I was pissed at ya. I didn't even mean it." I say, but it does no good.  
  
"Xander, Oz, Tara...I'm not good enough for any of them." She says sadly.  
  
"The whelp's dating a demon. Your wolf left 'cause he's a freak and your witch bitch don't know what she's missin'." I tell her.  
  
"Thanks...I think." She mutters.  
  
"Truth is...you're a better fuck than Buffy." I say. Me and my big mouth.  
  
"What? How would you know?" She asks.  
  
"Uh...Angelus...details..." I stutter awkwardly.  
  
She seems to buy it. "Oh...whatever."  
  
"Bloody well listen to me. You know I like shaggin' ya. Wouldn't do it otherwise. You're using me...that's fine. Not like I got any better offers." I tell her.  
  
"I'm not...are you?" She asks.  
  
"Using you?" I can't answer that. I should say yes, but the look in her eyes...or maybe my thoughts about the look in her eyes...I'm a fucking softie. "No Pet, I'm not using you. I like you."  
  
"Like me, like me? Or just like me?" Willow asks.  
  
"Whichever one means I like shaggin' ya."  
  
She laughs. "It's not a very healthy relationship." She says.  
  
"Whoa...relationship? Thought you were bleedin' using me. Now you're all with the relationships?"  
  
"Well...I just meant...Spike, shut up."  
  
"Make me." I reply, not willing to take orders from a little girl. Once again, I find myself being pushed backwards as she collides into me and kisses my lips hungrily. I don't take long to react and wrap my hands in her hair, holding her to me. Something tells me we won't get back to the crypt this time.  
  
*****  
  
I can't begin to understand this change in her. This is Willow we're talking about. Little redhead. The past couple of weeks have been messed up. First of all Buffy lets me shag 'er, then Red's coming onto me every bloody night. And I ain't complaining. Maybe I should try my luck at the demon and the blonde witch.  
  
"Spike, we have to move." Willow whispers.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"We're lying naked in the middle of the cemetery."  
  
I grin. "Can think of worse places I've been naked." I tell her.  
  
"I can't." She replies. "Come on, we can't stay here."  
  
I groan and sit up, reaching for my clothes. I grab some of hers by accident and throw them at her. She's doesn't notice and they hit her face. She laughs and throws them back at me. So, of course I throw them right back. She can be so childish sometimes.  
  
She gives up on the clothes and jumps on me instead, attempting to pin me to the ground. Likely. I roll her over and pin her myself.  
  
And then I feel a sharp pain to my gut that sends me flying across the graveyard.  
  
Willow screams and I look up to see what I'm fighting.  
  
Buffy stands there, glaring at me.  
  
"Buffy..." Willow murmurs, grabbing her clothes to cover herself.  
  
"You've crossed the line this time." Buffy says, walking over to me, a stake in her hand.  
  
"Buffy no!" Willow cries out and scrambles to her feet.  
  
I stand up and wait for Buffy to get close before knocking the stake from her hand and landing a blow to her face. She's back up for more before I can get her while she's down.  
  
"Buffy...don't!" Willow grabs Buffy's arm to hold her back.  
  
Buffy frowns at Willow. "What? Willow, he was going to..."  
  
"We were playing." Willow tells her.  
  
"Playing?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Me and Red were shaggin' okay? Now fuck off, you're ruining a perfect night." I tell her with sick satisfaction.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Buffy...I'm sorry..."  
  
"You were sha...having sex with Spike?"  
  
"It's none of your business who I have sex with." Red tells her indignantly.  
  
"Have you gone mad? He's a vampire. An evil soulless vampire." Buffy says slowly.  
  
"You weren't complaining the other night." I mutter.  
  
She throws me an evil look.  
  
"What?" Willow asks, looking between Buffy and me for confirmation.  
  
"It was a big mistake." Buffy tells her.  
  
Willow gives me a hurt look before hiding it and looking back at Buffy. "Yeah, well this isn't. Spike might be evil, but at least he's been here for me. You know what I've been dealing with..."  
  
"What you've been dealing with?" Buffy asks her, getting angry. "What about me? You drag me out of heaven to live a life of bills and responsibility. How do you think I'm coping?"  
  
"Stop making this about you!" Willow yells. "So I'm fucking Spike. It makes me happy. Happy that someone wants me."  
  
"He doesn't want you, he's only doing this to get to me." Buffy says.  
  
"Fuck you, slayer. Red's a better shag than you any day. I ain't interested in you anymore."  
  
Buffy looks a little taken aback before looking at her friend. "Fine, do what you want, but don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart." Buffy storms off, leaving Red and me alone.  
  
"Break my heart...ha." She mutters. "What heart?"  
  
"Look Red, about that..." I begin, knowing she'll need an explanation.  
  
"What about it? We're only having sex Spike. It's not like I care." But by the sound of her voice, it's obvious she does.  
  
"You want me to walk you home?" I ask quietly.  
  
"I can't go back." She whispers.  
  
I hide and smile and say, "Can always come back to mine."  
  
She laughs. "Yeah, I'd get loads of sleep at yours."  
  
I raise my eyebrows.  
  
"Which is fine with me." She looks around to see if we've forgotten anything, before walking with me back to my crypt. I watch her walk without her realising and smile at the way she handled things. Standing up to your best friend, especially if your best friend happens to be a slayer, is a hard thing to do.  
  
"Don't worry, she'll come around." I tell in a weak gesture of comforting.  
  
"To us having sex? I doubt it." Willow sighs.  
  
"To us being together." I reply.  
  
"But we're...are we?" She looks a little worried.  
  
I shrug. "Dunno. We shag, we talk...sounds like a relationship to me."  
  
"Interesting relationship." She says, amusedly.  
  
"Piss Buffy off no end." I grin.  
  
She stops and looks at me. "Are you using me to get at Buffy?"  
  
"Red, we've been over this..."  
  
"Answer the question." She says, threateningly. Suddenly very aware I'm fighting with the powerful witch.  
  
"I told ya, first time was because I wanted a shag...you happened to be there. After that, I wanted to because you were good and not nearly as bitchy as the slayer. I'm doing this because I wanna. Okay?" I tell her.  
  
She looks a little uncertain. "I was?"  
  
"Was what, pet?"  
  
"Good?"  
  
"Would I sleep with ya if you weren't?" I ask her, grinning.  
  
"Probably." She says, smiling.  
  
I laugh. "Yeah...probably would."  
  
"You'd sleep with anything."  
  
"Can think of a few people I wouldn't touch with a barge pole." I tell her.  
  
"So what, we keep 'shagging' until you get bored of me?" She asks.  
  
"Could never get bored of you pet. You remind me or Dru...but sane." I tell her.  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
*****  
  
Another round of amazing sex and I find myself watching her sleep. You know you got it bad when you watch a girl sleepin'. Ah shit, what am I thinking, shagging Red like this? I'm a vampire. A chipped vampire, but a vampire no less. Screwing a slayer's fine...makes me better than her if ya think about it. But just a human? I mean, yeah fine, if you're gonna kill 'em. But I'm not gonna kill Red. Maybe when I get the chip out, but she'll be coming back, I can tell you that now.  
  
I don't even think about Buffy anymore, just like she hasn't mentioned Tara since we started all this. We're helping each other forget things. We'd be better off if we could just love each other, but firstly the girl claims to be gay and secondly, she would never love a soulless vampire. If you can't make Buffy screwer of vampires fall in love with ya, I guess making Willow will be damn near impossible.  
  
Still, Buffy won't fall in love with ya cause she's dead inside. Maybe I have got a chance...  
  
Wait a minute. How did we get from screwing to love? Since when does Spike, Big bad of Sunnydale fall in love with humans.  
  
Since Buffy.  
  
Well, technically.  
  
But still, this is wrong. The girl's using you to forget. She ain't interested and you shouldn't be.  
  
Oh I don't know why I bother. We all know I fall in love to bloody easy and never fall out again.  
  
Hell, if Dru came back, I'd probably take her back. If I wasn't with Willow.  
  
Again with the 'with.' No more 'with.'  
  
There will be no 'with.'  
  
"Spike?" She calls my name in her sleep and I smile.  
  
"Right here Pet."  
  
She's still fast asleep, but she can manage to hold a conversation with me. "The door's open."  
  
"No, I closed it, remember?" I say, rubbing her arm, revelling in the heat that burns at my fingertips.  
  
"Okay..." She slips back into her dreams and turns over.  
  
She doesn't half fidget in bed.  
  
I decide I'm gonna tell her tomorrow. Funny how these things creep up on you. I hate thinking sometimes.  
  
*****  
  
I wait for her to rise, having not slept at all for thinking about the stupid change in opinion. I blame the chip.  
  
As soon as her eye flicker, I get a sick feeling in my stomach.  
  
I still swear Angelus brought me back wrong. Vampires don't get lovesick.  
  
"Hey." She's awake and looking at me with a strange look.  
  
"Up, Willow." I begin.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Shit, this means I have to say something.  
  
"You, uh...wanna stay here today?" I ask her. "You know, we can talk..."  
  
"You wanna have more sex?" She asks, incredulously. "Don't you get enough at night?"  
  
"Didn't mention sex." I say, slightly annoyed.  
  
"Alright...what do you want to do?" She asks, amused.  
  
"I dunno, talk I guess."  
  
"'Bout what?"  
  
"Oh bloody hell! Fine, bugger off and I'll talk to my TV." I yell.  
  
"You're acting weird." She accuses, dressing quickly.  
  
"Yeah, well. You would to if you were me." I say quietly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look Red, this is fucking stupid. Don't wanna shag you anymore, alright? Just fuck off." Why am I saying this? Stupid fucking temper.  
  
"You don't mean that. Spike, what's wrong? Did I do something?" She asks, calmly.  
  
I just blink. Most bints would have run out crying, but she just stays here, asking what's wrong. "Nothing, Red. I'm just a little pissed about Buffy."  
  
"Yeah...right. What's wrong?" She smiles.  
  
I sigh. "I was lying before, okay? It's not just sex...I just..."  
  
She goes white. "Don't say it."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Spike, you say it and I'll kill you." She tries to leave before I can get the words out.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"No." She shakes her head. "This is stupid. You don't...we're using each other. This is nothing..."  
  
"Don't deny you don't feel..."  
  
"I love Tara." She says, as if trying to convince herself. "I'm gay."  
  
"And you shag me...why?"  
  
"You make me forget how shitty things are right now." She says.  
  
"You don't even want me?" I ask her, unbelievingly.  
  
"Not like that." She says, before running out.  
  
Bloody hell, why's it always sunny when she does that?  
  
*****  
Willow POV  
*****  
  
Shit! Now Buffy's gonna hate me even more. Why'd I ever sleep with him?  
  
'Cause he's hot and he wants you and makes you feel...  
  
Shut up.  
  
He can't love me...he doesn't...why would he?  
  
Between Buffy and me...  
  
Shit.  
  
Now where am I supposed to go? Lately, Spike's been the only one I can talk to. Everyone was else was stuck in their own problems. And now I don't have Spike, I'm alone again.  
  
I hate this. I've never been alone. I always had Xander or Buffy or Oz or Tara.  
  
I have to make things right. I have to fix things before I go mad.  
  
*****  
Buffy gets off her shift and comes home to what she thinks is an empty house. She's surprised to see me waiting for her in the living room.  
  
"Didn't think I'd see you for a while." She says, her voice a mix of conflicting emotions.  
  
"We need to talk." I say, trying to look as humble as I can.  
  
"What's there to talk about? You and Spike are having sex. It's not my place to judge." She says, walking over and sitting down opposite me.  
  
"I need to get some things off my chest. Please hear me out." I say.  
  
She looks a little uncertain at first, but finally gives in and gestures for me to continue.  
  
"I...was upset one night. The things that had happened...I just felt as if everything was my fault. Which it was, but that's not the point." I babble. "I was in the Bronze, thinking about how happy we once were, laughing and dancing like teenagers. I was so upset Buffy, I hated myself so much. And then Spike came. He took me to the dance floor and held me and for the first time in a long time I felt as if things were going to be okay. I felt wanted...special almost. All that and no magic, no spells. When I realised Spike wanted me, I wanted him too. I needed to feel something, to be with someone."  
  
I see a look in Buffy's eyes that could easily be interpreted as relating. I think maybe she understands.  
  
"After I slept with him, I felt so bad. I tried to stay away but Dawn...upset me and he was there again to make me forget the pain. I never feel alone when I'm with him."  
  
"And you do with me?" She asks, tears in her eyes.  
  
"I...it's my fault. I brought you back to this hell and I know it's my fault you've been dealing with everything..." I start crying myself, finally getting the guilt out of my system.  
  
"I would have done the same thing I could have." She whispers.  
  
"Spike thinks he loves me. He thinks we should...I don't know." I look up for her reaction. I'm so scared she'll be jealous or angry.  
  
She nods. "Maybe he is."  
  
"No. It's Spike. And me...I mean, why me?" I ask.  
  
"You don't see how amazing you are, do you?" She asks me.  
  
I look away, slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"No. I don't...I love Tara. I don't..."  
  
"Who are you trying to convince?" She asks.  
  
"So we're okay?" I ask, avoiding the question.  
  
"Of course. You're my best friend. I love you, you know that." She tells me, walking over. I stand up and we hug. I smile, wondering if maybe I won't be alone now. This is all I wanted.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Buffy." I sob.  
  
"Me too." She says. "I'll try harder to make time for you, I promise. I won't leave you alone like that again."  
  
*****  
Spike's POV  
*****  
  
I hear my door open and rush up, expecting Willow, but to my disappointment, it's only Dawn.  
  
"What do you want?" I ask her.  
  
She wonders round, as if she owns the place. "Just came for a visit. Don't be in such a bad mood."  
  
"Listen Niblet, I'm not in the mood so go home, alright?"  
  
"What did you do to Buffy this time?" She asks. I frown and she rolls her eyes. "She was in a bad mood too this morning. And seeing as you're the only one who can get anything out of her these days, I figured it was your fault."  
  
"Yeah, cheers luv. But it weren't me, so bugger off."  
  
"Spike!" She's about to throw a tantrum and I'm really not in the mood.  
  
"Dawn, just go home. I haven't seen Buffy for ages." I lie.  
  
"You really love her, huh?"  
  
I look up. "No, I don't. Not anymore."  
  
She looks a little surprised. "You don't?"  
  
"She won't love me back. Only so much a man can take before he moves on." I reply.  
  
"And who have you moved onto," she asks, grinning.  
  
"None of your damn business." I say, raising my voice.  
  
"Is it Willow?" She asks, her eyes flickering slightly at the mention of the girl she's so pissed at right now.  
  
"Uh...no. It's no one, now drop it." I say irritably.  
  
"Whatever, you don't want to fall in love with her anyway, she'll probably kill you with magic, or something." Dawn says, snidely.  
  
"Watch your mouth. Red feels bad enough already with out you making her miserable. She had a problem...she's doing everything she can to sort herself out." I tell her.  
  
"See, you love her." Dawn says casually.  
  
"Bitch." I mutter.  
  
"Language Spike." Dawn chastises. "I was just playing with you."  
  
"Yeah, well I wasn't. You gotta forgive her or I'll have to sort you out, understand?" I tease.  
  
Dawn looks away. "Things have been really difficult. I didn't mean to keep snapping at her. Was she really upset?"  
  
"Yeah, even slept with...uh, didn't sleep at all." I catch myself. That was close.  
  
"I suppose I've been mad long enough." Dawn sighs. "You really love her, don't you?"  
  
I hadn't thought about it really. Just kinda happened. "Yeah I do." I reply, without hesitation.  
  
"Well, good. I just hope she loves you back." Dawn says, smiling.  
  
"Me too, niblet, me too."  
  
*****  
Buffy POV  
*****  
  
I know what she thinks of me. She thinks that I hate her because he loves her now, not me. She thinks I hate her for getting a guy when I can't keep one.  
  
But I don't.  
  
This is Willow, my best friend who has always been the block...a source of sense and logic.  
  
And now she's doing something that makes no sense...it's so un-Willow-like. I'm so scared she'll get hurt, that he'll hurt her...  
  
But I also know she's a big girl and she can make her own decisions. I made my own and look what Angel did. Tried to suck the world into hell...now that was a stupid mistake. But I made it on my own and it made me stronger.  
  
I think maybe it's time to let my friends make their mistakes without me.  
  
Even if hers does include sleeping with Spike.  
  
*****  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn's voice calls me from the hall. I walk in and find her, surprised to see her smiling.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" I ask, sorta happy she's not mad at me anymore.  
  
"I had a talk with Spike." She says.  
  
"Oh...about what?" I ask in my perfected mother voice.  
  
"Willow." She replies. "I know you're mad at them right now, but I think it's a good idea. You know...Willow and Spike. He really loves her."  
  
"Willow doesn't think so." I say, half-smiling.  
  
"Willow's got a serious denial problem going on. I'm gonna talk to her." She says.  
  
"Uh, Dawn...Willow, remember? Thought you weren't talking to her." I remind her.  
  
"Spike said some stuff..." She says cryptically.  
  
"So he does love her?" I ask.  
  
"And she loves him."  
  
"But she's never going to admit that." I say.  
  
"Then I guess we'll have to force her." Dawn smiles.  
  
*****  
Willow POV  
*****  
  
I feel so much better now Buffy and I have made up. Now I just need to sort Dawn out and things will be back to normal.  
  
Except that Spike loves you.  
  
Oh, he does not. He's using me. To get Buffy, it's the only thing that makes sense.  
  
And you don't love him?  
  
No. I love Tara...I just...sleep with Spike...he's good in bed and he makes me feel special.  
  
Great defence!  
  
I bang my head with my fist as I walk down the street, telling my inner voices to stop arguing. I hate all this confusion. Things were simpler when it was just sex. Now there's all this...feeling stuff. Makes my head hurt.  
  
Okay, I've walked...and now I have nowhere to go, so I think heading back to Buffy's is probably a good idea. As I walk up the drive, I see Dawn perched on the bench outside. I walk to the door, ignoring her...not to be mean, but simply because I know she'll just shout if I try to make eye contact.  
  
"Willow?" She calls softly.  
  
I look at her. "U...uh, yeah?" I ask, awkwardly.  
  
"Can we talk?" She asks.  
  
"Um...of course. I...uh," So I sit, stuttering like an idiot as she smiles.  
  
"I just wanna apologise." She says. "For being mean. I was mad...and I kinda made a mess of things. Sorry."  
  
"No, Dawn, I'm sorry. I dragged you into my problems...I'm so sorry." I say, feeling tears well up. I'm so happy she's forgiven me.  
  
"Now onto the good stuff!" Dawn grins. "Spike loves you. A lot. And Buffy and I have talked and we think it's a good thing."  
  
"Y...you did?"  
  
"Yeah. You see, you love Spike."  
  
I shake my head. "No Dawn..."  
  
"Willow, you sleep with him, you talk with him, and you dance with him...you're in love admit it!" Dawn says.  
  
"How did you...Buffy?"  
  
"No, well...yes. But Spike told me some things too." She tells me. "Do you like being with him?"  
  
I think about it. "Yeah."  
  
"Do you think about him when he's not there?"  
  
I laugh. "Always."  
  
"And he's good in bed?"  
  
"Ye...hey!" I smile, wryly as she laughs.  
  
"So you love him?"  
  
"I...guess. Sorta. I think."  
  
"Trust me Wills, I know when you're in love."  
  
I look up and see Xander standing to the side. "You didn't know I was in love with you for like...ever!" I tease him.  
  
"And now you love Spike...can I just say...ew!" He jokes back.  
  
"It's not my fault. He seduced me with his gorgeous body and baby blue eyes." I say.  
  
"Ew again." Xander says, sticking his hand up for attention.  
  
"Totally." Dawn says, grinning.  
  
The front door opens and Buffy sticks her head out. "I overheard while I was eavesdropping. Everyone knows that you and Spike like each other. Now we're trying to get you to go for it. We want you to be happy." Buffy says to me.  
  
I can't help smiling. I can't believe I ever thought I was alone. I have so many great friends.  
  
"The sun's been down a while, Willow." Xander says.  
  
"Guess I should go find Spike." I say, hesitantly.  
  
"Don't think that'll take long." Dawn smirks.  
  
I look up and see Spike standing on Buffy's lawn, looking at me. I stand up and walk over; wishing the group of nosey friends would disappear now.  
  
"Hey." He says.  
  
"Hey yourself." I reply.  
  
There's an awkward silence.  
  
"Spike...Dawn and Buffy...and Xander have been talking to me and..."  
  
"Lemme guess. You're not even gonna see me anymore." He says, angrily.  
  
"No...they made me see something." I say.  
  
"What?" He asks, sure I'm about to break off the whole 'thing'.  
  
I reach up and kiss him, feeling his surprise through his lips. A surprise that is soon replaced by relief and lust.  
  
Did I mention Spike's a great kisser?  
  
As I pull away, I hear Buffy, Dawn and Xander cheering in the background. I start to blush, but Spike just gives them the finger.  
  
"Wanna go somewhere more private?" He asks.  
  
"Is that all you ever think about?" I ask, teasing.  
  
"Oh...if you wanna stay or go somewhere..."  
  
"No, I wanna go somewhere private." I grin.  
  
He laughs. "Private it is, Pet."  
  
We leave the shouts and cheers of Buffy and co. behind and once we're out of sight, I slip my arm through his and hold onto him, a buzzing feeling inside. No longer the girl who dances alone, I dance with Spike.  
  
The End 


End file.
